Wednesday, October 26, 2011

True Love

Photo by  Meaghan Miller Lopez AMMA Photography
That's me, totally loving my surf board. I was walking past it and I couldn't resist giving it a big 'ole hug.
It's brought me so far in the last year or so. It's provided me with a dream come true - riding the waves - standing up (!) - and I'm sure inspired me in my latest adventure-to-be.

If all goes well, in January, 2012, I'll be going back to school. Grown-up school.

Ashton will be in pre-school, Trin will be...we don't know yet what Trin will be doing...and I will be studying for a Masters Degree in counselling psychology with a specialization in treating trauma.

I started surfing because after years of training in other people's versions of personal transformation, I wanted to pursue my own version. I wanted to become something - someone - I never thought I could be. 

On the one hand, I had hoped surfing would turn me into someone completely different. Someone who never gets upset about the small stuff. Someone who never yells at the kids, or gets completely worked up when things don't go her way. I thought it would erase all the things I couldn't stand about myself and make me totally mellow and super "cool." It didn't do that.

But surfing has provided me with more joy than I've known in a long time. It has restored me to myself and made me more of myself than I can remember being. It's made me young again in some ways and also grown me up. And it's made me more capable of dealing with the things that really matter.

I'm so glad I'm doing it. It's one of the great love stories of my life.


  1. I can vouch for what Jesica writes here. In my own way I'd like to congratulate her (you, wife) on coming this far in the adventure of learning to surf.
    I don't think anyone can say that you haven't done it--learned to surf. Sure, you want to be better, more laid back, surfing at better breaks, surfing more often, having a better ride than our 1980 Mercedes wagon with a leaky radiator, standing up on waves more of the time, and, well, learning to shred a little bit. I know you also want to go on a surf safari some day.
    This is not about external accomplishment, though. This is not a sport for you, or even a lifestyle. (You don't have the option of trying it on as a lifestyle, really, unless we go "Surf Wise".)
    This is an inner journey, and you are right to speak about it as a love affair. That's the way you've given yourself to this 'other man' in your life. (Or maybe it's a woman, the sea?) Whoever it is, thank god.

  2. So glad for you! Following your heart is a beautiful thing in so many ways, and I know the dream of erasing the parts of myself I don't like. "More of myself than I can remember being" ... fabulous! Hope school is as much of a joy :)